My days have been consumed with healing old wounds that my attention to, was far overdue. I cliché-ing-ly found myself after days upon days of ugly-face-crying. It has been a rough beginning of the year for me, yet very third-eye opening, setting me on a journey to dive deeper into my spiritual path and grow empathetically and intuitively.
I wanted to tell you about what I’ve been healing from and all the things that have changed with me since the last time I considered myself a blogger, however, little did I know, an old lesson that I thought had been learned a thousand times would rear its ugly head providing the perfect “I’m back” post.
The Toxic (Betraying, Lying, Sneaky) Friend
I honestly take full responsibility for even slightly attempting to nurturing this friendship, as it was a forced one anyway. Since I’m not known for my super warm, cuddly nature, and only have a few friends, I figured forced or not, she wasn’t too bad of a person, so …
Going against my better judgment, here I am reflecting on knowing better.
All of the things I’ve learned about myself between 2015 & this year has shed plenty of light on how I keep managing to sniff out horrible people and how they manage to always find me, but that’s a story for another time and I promise you I’ll get to it.
Today, however, I’m going to tell you how to recognize the toxic person in your life and make a few suggestions on how to rid yourself of them.
I had a conversation with a friend not too long ago, who gave me the perfect word to describe a toxic friend.
They complicate your life and are far more than a nuisance. They drain you with their negative perspective, leaving you confused wondering why the hell you feel so down after even the shortest conversation with them. You don’t even realize the effects they have on you until you become aware of the shift in your energy around them. You know something is off, but you just can’t quite put your finger on it. If any of this sounds familiar, you, poor unsuspecting soul, have a parasitic, toxic friend in your life.
They are not supportive of just about everything you want to do, things you show interest in, or even talk about just making conversation, which in turn causes you to be hesitant talking to them about the new things in your life, new people, or any aspect of your life you would normally want to share with a friend. They are downright rude and may possibly even laugh at your ideas with the explanation being, “I’m a real friend. I’m not going to tell you what you want to hear; I’m going to tell you what you need to hear.”.
REAL friends don’t have to give each other this disclaimer for no other simple reason that, when it’s honest, it’s honest. Let’s not forget the telltale sign of jealousy. It’s obvious that they want what you have whether it’s a job position, friends, material things, etc. if they have the gall, to plot, recruit co-conspirators, and commit little shady acts they think you aren’t aware of, as a means of gaining what they want. Without a doubt, you have a little shit for a friend. I mean toxic … toxic little shit.
Now, to the good part. Let’s get rid of this asshat.
Cut that bitch off. Restrict them from everything starting with social media. Remove them or completely block them from Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and whatever else is out there. You can start slow or be more me-ish and knock it out all at once. If you prefer the slower approach, just start spending less time with them. Respond to texts, emails, etc. slower than you normally would. Take a full day, two, or three. Don’t answer the phone. Ever. Force them to leave a message, then delete it without listening to it because it will be filled with a lot of blah, blah, blah to make you feel bad for not being there when they need you. When they want to hang out with you, say “no”. Just “no”, with no excuses for it. “I don’t feel like it.”, should suffice. Of course, this may come with questions from them as to why you are not as available as you used to be to sit across from them and endure abuse. If that is the case, go right on and tell them. No sense in backing up when you have come this far. You can put it nicely or think back to a time they were unnecessarily blunt with you and quadruple it back to them. Petty schmetty.
Yes, I’m more than aware that I mentioned my spiritual path earlier in this post. I’m a work in progress and fine-tuning myself each day. I activated my Anti-Bad Vibe Shield before I even typed this and it is unpenetrable by your dirty, judgemental looks. Some people deserve the softer side of you, others do not.
For a more delicate approach, you can also start countering all of their negativity with positivity. Take for example my sweet little Negative Nancy. She complains constantly about a job she came back to. So, say this was the case for you as well and your friend starts to whine about work, you can politely say, “Maybe you are experiencing burnout, which is known to happen in our profession. It may be time for you to start another career if you are no longer happy doing this type of work.” *Bats eyelashes*
See. Just when you thought I couldn’t say things without bad words.
Surround yourself with positive people. Chances are when your toxic friend witnesses all the love and support you are getting from your vibe-tabulous soul family, they will fade away on their own. This is exactly what’s happening in my situation. My fun-loving parasite is getting uncomfortable with all the positive energy around me and it’s causing her to lose ground. Her claws are showing and she looks a little greenish in the face, although she calls it a tan.
Some people are like clouds, when they disappear its a brighter day.
I’m sure I’ll have more to tell in the coming days on this subject, so for now, I’ll leave it.
In the meantime, I’ll just be glad that I know what I know, and now that I know, I will follow all of my own advice and get out of this fake, surface ass friendship.
It will only get worse if you allow this person room to cause chaos in your life. So, do yourself a favor and break up with your toxic friend as well.
– LPGeek 💜