Feeling Blue

Struggling to get out of bed each day is, well … depressing.  All you want to do is retreat, unplug the alarm, cover your head, and go back to sleep where you have peace, hiding from everyone and avoiding life.  Deep down you want to be normal, your kind of normal.  No uncontrollable emotions.  No downhill tumbles.

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It’s brutal and a terrible way to have to live life. Turning it around is easier said than done.  Some seek help, meds, or other drastic and unhealthy means of dealing with depression. It’s easy to get all caught up and self-medicate or turn to a prescription. Whenever I was at my worst dealing with depression coupled with anxiety, I didn’t want to just numb the pain, I wanted to fight it so that if it ever returned I could just gear up and fight it again like a well self-trained depression stomping warrior.  That also was easier said than done and I eventually had to turn to prescription meds. It helps tremendously but I’m working very hard to be independent and pull away from the meds altogether.

A few things I’ve learned along the way:

1. How To Accept My Kind of Normal +  Love Myself

I have my kind of normal and you have yours.  No one gets to decide what normal looks like for you. I have stopped caring what people think about me and how I choose to do things.  If it feels right I go with it and I trust my intuition.  I’ve become more patient and compassionate with myself, taking the time to remind myself each day of all the amazing things I can do. You’d be surprised how much a small self-praise can do for you.

2.  To Get Out of My Head

It’s hard to stop thinking and turn your mind off so, to get out of my mind for a while I turn to my many crafts.  I blog, crochet, make jewelry, create digital art and so many other things. A good DIY makes me forget all my troubles, even if it’s temporary. The brief break gives me time to recollect and gives my mind a much-needed rest. Sometimes after I piddle around a bit with a project I look at whatever problem I was facing with a clear and fresh mind. Sometimes being immersed in the things I love gives my subconscious time to catch up to whatever I’m facing and in the silence of working I find

3.  Believe Anything is Possible

Have you ever been worried about something for days, a bill, school, work, … and just like that it seems to work itself out?  Well, life is just like that.  I believe if it is going to happen it will and if not, it won’t.  However, I still believe in the possibility that it will happen. When it doesn’t, I take the time to find the blessing in why it did not so I’m not bummed out about it. Not everything goes according to plan, but rest assured knowing that it all comes together just as it should.

4. To Be Mindful + Grateful When Things Are Good

When I’m in a good mood I take the time to notice it.  Like today, I’m feeling particularly chipper and I’m acknowledging it.  I want to be fully present, in this moment, and enjoy it and because I have become more aware of what feeling good feels like I can catch my depression before it sets in too deep.  It has made me actually know the difference between being tired/worn down or slipping into depression.

5. I’m Allowing Myself to Be Loved

Let people love you.  You don’t think you need them to, but you do.  I’m not talking about caring whether someone likes you or not.  I mean the people you care about. Let them care about you too.  Surround yourself with positive people and loving/caring relationships.  You’ll need these relationships to nurture your soul every now and then.

Sometimes depression is so far gone that small things like this won’t work.  By all means, if you think you should seek help do so.  You have to do what works for you in any and all situations.  This is your life. We all handle things differently and what works for me will not work for you and what works for you will not work for someone else.

Once upon a time, there was nothing but a happy me. Now, she comes and goes and I miss her so much each time. She is a beautiful creature with so much promise and optimism. She sings and can’t carry a tune. She dances with no rhythm. She makes things with her hands because she likes to. She started her own business because she had courage and a plan. For the moment, she is here and if ever she should leave again, I now know how to bring her back even if it takes a little while.

– LPGeek

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